KANNAN GOES TO SCHOOL AGAIN

Since1979 after leaving medical school,he has been a practicing Govt ophthalmologist for the last 26 yrs and has been recklessly treating the so called underprivileged class of society in a semi urban govt hospital not bothering to update about the changing trends in treatment or surgical practice other than reading some articles in the newspapers meant for layman,since he could survive despite that or else he might have felt that advanced treatment or knowledge of the same would adversely affect his private practice in the sense that new doubts and confusion is a possibility and his self confidence would also come down with newer concepts and also his patients would have to be send for higher centers for the ever growing and costly investigations which his patients could not afford and the results of these investigations would inturn need further costlier investigations and ultimately the treatment boiled down to what he would have prescribed without these sophisticated investigations .He was not against these modern investigations per say but the affordability factor as for as his poor patients, he was bothered .Also he believed in the theory that ignorance was bliss.In short he was 30yrs behind the so called modern practitioners of the game yet he was a happy and contented modern ophthalmic quack ofcourse licensed to kill.
It was when another junior artist entered the scene that he felt belittled and when she often hinted about his ignorance that he consented to attend an ophthalmic conference and face reality and bring up todate treatment to his B.P.L patients and off he flew to the capital city with the anxiety and curiosity of a child to enter in to the new world of modern day magic of the lasers and phako surgeries being enacted in a five star hotel(which he has never bothered to venture).Ofcourse he never forgot to take his old membership card which he retrieved after an intense search of his old files .
He promptly reported at 9 a.m and was soon lost in the world of young and old all dressed up in suites and coats who looked at him as if from third world country .After he dished out his delegate fees worth a fortune they gave him a schedule of the subjects being taught simultaneously in three different halls .,for three successive days . Oh GOD he cried in desperation after seeing the menu of the classes,how much to learn and how to take three avatars to complete the menu .His dilemma was thwarted by his old classmate who pushed him to hall A saying they are showing C.D pictures there worth watching .He settled comfortably in a chair in the darkened A.C hall and the film has already started and he had missed the titles.His eyes accommodated to the surroundings and soon he realized that he was seeing a modern eye surgery in all its glamour and splendor .and the speaker was describing modern techniques of retreaval of intra ocular lenses which have fallen back in to the vitreus of the eye while being implanted .Ofcourse he was no stranger to the lenses being lost in the ocean of vitreus he has been fortunate to have lost 7or8 into abyss of vitreous and never bothered to retrieve the same since the results would not be any different since both resulted in the patient being forced to be happy with the other eye .But the story here was different .The surgeon using modern gadgets and different lighting systems tried to locate the lost lens and retrieved it from as far back in retina and brought it back and cried eureka 5 hours in surgery costing the patient another 50000 bucks and being comfortable with the other eye . The speaker was demonstrating the ambidexterity of the hands and if permitted would have put his foot also .Kannan was surprised that sooner than later in the next conference he would be presenting how he had dived into the vitreus to retrieve the lens in a scuba. The whole acrobatics lasted 2 hrs and he was mesmerized by the skill and the topic concluded with a standing ovation by the leading ophthalmologists of the state.Soon it was lunch time.The food was not that bad ,but when an organizer friend requested him to make the most of it since the hotel charged around Rs.250 per plate he felt a nausea and immediately left the area .
The post lunch session boasted of a modern update of squint and Cornea –“what we need to know” . The second Ad caught his attention and he drifted to the cornea hall .T he session was heating up as he entered and he noticed some P.G.s furiously taking notes. He settled nice and comfortably and was surprised to see his classmate giving the lecture.He felt some aching pain in the chest which subsided after his customary three deep breaths to soothen the heart .Soon he dissolved completely in the cornea and only a tap from his near seater jolted him back from a cool nap and the speaker was concluding T hank you .He felt embarrassed and ashamed and mentally apologized to his patients .
The first day came to a screaming halt .and he returned to the pavilion not interested in the banquet and cultural programme to follow .
His wife was eagerly waiting for her husband as if returning from the battle field and he nodded as if very tired and went to sleep.
The second day began with another C.D session of modern phako surgeries which he watched in utter awe and was hypnotized so to say-they were literally playing with the EYE BALL with precise balance like a Russian ballet and skill of a snookerist at his peak .He was thrilled and soon began to whistle and wave like a hysterical fan until the session concluded and lunch was announced .After the sumptuous lunch he visited the instrument stalls and the drugs stalls .Soon he saw a long queue of leading ophthalmologists before a medical stall ,and in a typical Indian style he also waited patiently in it . After an eternity he reached the destination and was dumb struck to see these godmen creating a melee for a open plastic bag being offered as a compliment by a medical company .He knew not whether to laugh or cry .When his turn came he also snatched one bag from the medical rep and asked him for one more for his dead nanny for her shopping and he obliged to his great delight .
The after noon session was lively with the topic –The Dos and DON’T in the operation table.One medical college professor was chiding the novice surgeons for uttering stupidities like “oh god! This is my first surgery” with the patient hearing(almost all eye surgeries are done in local aneasthesia and the patient can even hear the surgeons fast heart.).She also confessed that she had stopped humming songs after complaints from some patients who demanded more recent songs .Some one from the audience ,not me for sure, suggested how to kiss the assisting nurse silently .So much for the donts. The session went on merrily and concluded at 5 when the umpires called it a day .
He felt desperate. What has he learned or unlearned.Was he going to be the same again.His confidence had plummeted .He is going to bat like the Gangulies in the near future until all the memories of this conference lasted . But memories are short which was a blessing and he decided to abstain from the third days play and went home satisfied that ophthalmology has outgrown his generation and the FUTURE IS SAFE IN THE HANDS OF THE NEXT GENERATION and since ultra conservatives and service oriented persons like himself cannot accept the CHANGE - IT IS BETTER TO CALL IT A DAY and find peace in the search for ATHMAN .