THAT OLD HOSPITAL BIRD

The O.P was at its peak around 10 a..m..The pens and steths were doing overtime and one by one the patients were falling victims to their onslaught.These faceless victims were neither men,women,children,or even animals,they came under the wide category of CASES`-fever cases,ortho cases,gynaec,eye or mental cases.After sifting through many eyes (incidentally I happen to be an ophthalmologist) some red, some watering, some nonseeing eyes,ofcourse I never bother to look into their faces since I am too professional for that.The o.p is conducted in a large undivided hall with around 8 to 9 doctors of various specialists sitting around 4 tables facing each other with stools in between supposed to seat each patient,but very rarely happens.These cases are usually disposed in the standing posture itself since there is usually long queues.The only problem being most of the cases endind up with the wrong specialities,but that does not pose much of a difficulty since every doctor in govt hospital has the guts to deal with any disease whether he diagnose it or not and most often it is the otherway round.
Soon it is time for a coffey break. I manage to stand up and look around for relaxing my eyes.There she is –old Beeyathumma one of the usual hospital birds.I seek the shelter of duty doctors room for coffey.As I sip my coffey,I wonder about Old Beeyathumma.We have both seen the ups and downs of this hospital for the last 25 years.She will be around 80 to 90yrs, fair ,aroud 5.4 ft, of thin built and as erect as a steel rod.Her face is small and round,with wrinked creases beautifully chisseled out.But the striking feature was the all encompassing smile and the wise tranquil eyes that held no malice.Ofcourse she was absolutely poor.Every day whether the sun rises or not ,whether it is bandh or independence day,she promptly arrives at the o.p ,at 10 sharp as if to mark attendence and stands silently in any one of the queues.She is never bothered about the speciality;ofcourse she knows all the doctors and their respective specialities.She will wait her turn without any fuss.When atlast she reaches the doctor,an old op ticket suddenly appears in her hand and slowly she hands it over to the God.,neverbothering even to sit..She never rambles about her body aches or numbness of feet or tiredness.She just smiles and looks straight in to his eyes which is all revealing.The doc has no other choice .He goes through the op ticket which usually reveals a prescription of Becomplex pills in the top written 10 days back by another doc followed by the word repeat for nother 10days.HE WILL ALSO WRITE REPEAT AND IF HE IS IN GOOD MOOD WILL ADD VIT A&D CAPSULES ALSO.She then nodds in appreciation for the great compassion bestowed on her,blessing him, goes silently to the next queue for getting those miracle drugs from the pharmacy.All these steps usually takes about 2 hrs and sharp at 12noon she leaves the hospital.
I always wonder why she is so cheerful,has no complaints at all about this world and is fully at ease with her surroundings?.I very well know she has never in her life consumed these pills.Then WHY? Is it to kill the time that she visits us? Is it to lose herself in the crowds?No that cannot be a logical answer.After many years the answer came and it nearly knocked me down.SHE IS CHALLENGING THE WORLD THAT SHE IS STILL EXISTING DEFYING ALL THE ODDS.

MAVELI NAADU VANEEDUM KALAM PART1

Once upon a time not very long ago this sacred land of ours was ruled by the great LEADER.Every body knew him for so long that they had already forgotten his truename He was their own the only COMPASSIONATE one..Under his leadership the land was reeling with floods of milk and arrack and people of all castes and communities lived in bliss and hangovers.There were lots of speculations as to his age. Some boasted he was atleast 900years old ,but the so called rationalists claimed,not more than ninty.But every body agreed that he has started existing in the very same form since they remembered.Also the historians have recorded that he had 1001 wives but no legal issues to date inspite of repeated thulabarams at his favourite guruvayur.The leader has nowadays become quite bored so says the I.G of vigilance b cause there was not even a single dissenter in the party,no more dharnas,no collectorate picketing.not a single bandh in the last one year,.All in all the sales of newspapers plummeted.The states treasury officer issued a public statement that since the states coffers were overflowing with money most of it has been diverted to swiss banks for safe upkeep.The rice and wheat rotted in state ware houses since the common mans energy requirements were met by the liquor lobby and more children attended schools for the midday meal programme and the state was the most literate of all the states.All IN ALL IT WAS THE GOLDEN ERA OF MAVELI THE GREAT.
To relieve his boredom and also of his party cadres and the great public he announced the NATIONAL DISINTEGRATION RATHA YATRA to start from kasargode to karamana from August15’th.The cable channels thunderered the flash news.Loudspeakers blared everywhere.The whole atmosphere and then stratosphere reverberated.The nine worlds trembled.Indras throne recorded a perfect 9 in richter scale.The wise sages came out of yoga nidra.In sathya loka the great strings of Saraswathi snapped jolting awake brahma from his afternoon nap,resulting in yet another malformed baby.Neither was kailasa spared,the bhootha ganas ran to Nandis for safety.A cunning smile lit Ananda padmanabhas face and HE mused-parithranaya sadhoonam vinasaya etc. etc-sambhavami yuge yuge:
As usual, the next part , even a kid can recite.Indra the most weakest of godlings,the most immoral,the most indulgent,the greediest and most selfish one as depicted in hindu mythology-the explanation for the same being- he represents the human mind,rushes over to vaikunta and pleads to Vishnu to save his throne from the jaithra yatra of the leader and ofcourse the lord soon releases the sudarsanchakra which soon obstructs the sun and earth is plunged into total darkness.So when India was seeking its tryst with destiny,on the same night the leader was lost in the darkness a few yojanas from kasargode and was later retrieved by some tribal leaders from the forests of wayanad 2 to 3 years later,The leader was given one of the greatest welcome the land has everseen and the maddening crowd shouted –laksham leksham pinnale.Though the leader was back in his throne oncemore he was never the same any longer.He felt tired,old,miserable and his confidence was shattered.The leader roared Indra you will pay for this.
He went to guruvayur and was in utter bajanam for 41 days with out food or drinks.Guruvayurappan had no choice.HE appeared before his true bhaktha and begged him what he wants,Hehad even brought a glass of charayam to end his fast.The leader was down on his knees and uttered –oh great lord give me a legal son who will oneday be the leader of all leaders.The lord said yes in capital letters and gave him a golden mango.But he added give it to one of your H.I.V.-ve wives and ask her to consume this fruit as a whole. The leader uttered jai hind and in one gulp he finished the drink the lord had offered to end his fast and he saluted LAL SALAM. AND RETURNED TO HIS HAREM IN THIRUVANANTHAPURAM .

THE ART OF LIVING

IT all started the evening when I asked my wife for a dinner outside.As usual I had a silly fight at the hotel with her over an item in the menu.We ate it out and returned .The narrow road was drenched in darkness exept for patches of light let out by two street lights which felt guilty for wasting the state exchequer.My shadows played hide and seek.Suddenly I felt a prick on my foot.Was it a snake?.But my torch in addition to the miserly street light said no.So I continued.I had an eeri feeling and was forced to look behind.Nothing,not even my shadow.O kay,I reached home and went to bed.A strange numbness started slowly from my foot and was ever slowly but steadily creeping over aiming in an upwardly direction.May be shingles and sleep drew me in.As usual the sun was out early and I began to start existing.I felt no more numbness but had an uneasy feeling of lethargy.The morning looked cloudy in spite of bright day light.Alighting from my bed I felt a little bit heavier. And unusually I FELT HUNGRY.This never happened in the last 14 years.My hands reached out to get the newspaper.Infact I even looked at the headlines,but threw it away.What is happening to me.I,had the first puff of the morning and I wretched.The nausea was acute.When it subsided I sipped my coffee it came whole inside out.Is it a viral fever?I soon drove to my hospital.The people in the streets suddenly looked hostile and were staring at me.I felt naked.The scooty on which I was abode started to run in slow motion..Somehow I made it to the hospital.Am I getting crazy?I soon climbed up the stairs,ignoring the usual good mornings from the nurses
As usual as I signed the attendence roster the initials stared back in yellow.Iwas aghast.Funnily all theletters were yellow. I raised my head and looked around.Every thing had yellowish glow.Am I jaundiced.?Awave of nausea passed over.My stomach started pouring extra doses of acid and bile. And the bile regurgitated back to my mouth.Soon the bile diffused all over and felt it seeping in to my blood. Suddenly I felt the silent presence of an intruder in me.He nodded in salute..But the voice thundered I am taking over and meekly I surrendered..Soon the furrows over my forehead doubled..Afixed scowl replaced my usual smile.My face darkened a little.The eyes reddened and a sadistic look took over.The hairs grew more grey..As I washed my face I glanced through the mirror. A satan was staring at me.Soon he had a mocking tone as he whispered You have no choice since it was you who let me IN..I became He .The peon came over with the red old files and in no time fled over my get out.The office staff muttered behind my back-atlast our sir has matured as a true civil servant.I took leave and headed back home.My wife opened the door,looked at me for a fleeting moment.I could see her face reddened and without a word escaped to the kitchen.I was in deep rage.the home became utterly SILENT .Suffocating heaviness overtook the building.The children were bewildered as they returned from school and could feel the cool silence and their voices were subdued as they retired to their room and pretended reading.Tiger the dog stopped wagging his tail and crept to the corner of the room and sorrowfully watched my eyes in utter desperation. Everybody was in an island of his own..It was midnight in the evening.The satan in me danced with glee.I felt asleep as nightmares had a fieldday.I woke up after eternity and immediately felt the affectionate embrace of my wife.THE SATAN IN ME DISINTEGRATED in to nothingness..I felt lighter and the smile returned to my lips.The childrens shouts and peels of laughter cleared the air and the sun as usual showered his brilliant morning light.As I looked in to the mirror with a whistle I could see the very ME.But the mirror muttered I will be back when ever YOU LET ME IN.

silence of the lamps

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SILENCE OF THE LAMPS



Suddenly it was as if thecurrent went off in the dead of night,only that it was not the lights but the SOUND..Not an iota of sound anywhere..Only the sound of silence all around..No more the whirring of the fan,no more the soft breaths of my partner.Am I going crazy?No I cant even hear my own breathing,no more the lub dup of my heart. The night mare has begun.The ghostly silence engulfs me .The sonic boom of silence was like the take off of a concorde to my ears.Yes I can see it .Its color - - yes now I am sure it’s pitch dark , utterly dark..I can smell it,a sweet deathly rotten odour.All my internal systems has come to a stand still except my sense organs and Awareness.Theire awareness is getting sharper and sharper by the minute and so my agony..The silence is churning my inside out like a tsunami..It pitches me deep down to the bowels of core of the mother earth..Now everything has started vibrating,the pitch is turning to a crescendo and the whole universe has started its deathly dance..Thesilence is howling.Yes I can see the cracks appearing in the windows and walls..The pressure inside the room is rising fast and crushes me underneath it.The room has now become a balloon about to burst.Swirling waters surround it..The silence suddenly lights up and shines like thousand suns.Its brilliance blinds me and the whole ME is drenched in its brilliance.I EXIST NO MORE.

Coffey says my wife.Iam jolted back to life. And for the first time Iam enjoying the sweet sounds of blaring of the temple speakers,the misfiring of a neighbours scooter and the terrible barking of the street dog..The joy of being is overwhelming..Now I turn to my sides and oh! I gasp.There I see a shapeless dark nothingness deep in the corner of my partly opened cup board.Yes there it is---the soulless SILENCE mocking at me and whispering---I AM THE THY WITHIN YOU.. .

marriage or miscarriage

MARRIAGE OR MISCARRIAGE


Marriages are made in heaven ,they claim,but is endured on earth which they accept.They say it is an institution,but is it not not legalized prostitution where money passes hands? No it is a legal,social,emotional,physical commitment,they claim.As for as society is concerned it cannot accept orphans,does not want too much rapes,nor does it wants it’s units to fight for women and it also needs free teachers for training the kids its so called rules,morals.Inshort it needs the family concept for its own survival.It is indeed funny that any logical individual can dream of a situation wherein two individuals of different sexes to live together 24*7*52*NHOURS AND THAT TOO HAPPILY.It is sheer madness.Then why do generations of people over centuries who fought against tyranny,monarchy,communism,oppression,suppression never voiced against this monster institution which suppress true human liberty and which imposes ultimate bondage for life? May be because they are used to it or is it because they are afraid that they cannot get a partner themselves or are too lazy ?Or because it is available in a custamised package with extra festival offers ?ANY WAY THEY ARE BUYING CRAP WITH NO GUARANTEE AND DESTINED FOR LIFE IMPRISONMENT NOT LIMITED TO 14 YEARS.So guys don’t waste time,get married since u have no other choice.

whom am i

WHO AM I



Yes this is the million dollar ? I am asking myself for the n’th time.few clues?am I the darling new born who fell from the stars to the delight of my near and dear one august night, one day elder to the great messiah the great omnipotent Krishna, to uplift the family name.am I the innocent toddler who is always smiling, not much mischievous, who is the uncrowned prince to a large score of dotting relatives.later the most obedient,so called brilliant,studious student, a teachers delight, who climbed on to reach dizzy heights to get a merit seat in medical studies, the low middle class parents could not dream of in the sixties.then the gods decided it is the time for change.the change came like a tsunami and turned the world upside down for an innocent god fearing teenager thrown to the wolves of the world,the peergroup,was it the strict discipline of the parents or was it the unawareness of what real pleasures to be enjoyed or abstained as scriptures say,which changed the I in me?the beast in me finally woke up and I became I.they thought a girl will change the I in me.but no way,I became all the more stronger and the innocent girl became my first scapegoat later the i became more cunning and devious and next victim was the whole family. the I in me boastedof enjoying every pleasures the world could offer and when the pleasures began to get saturated it threw the I into ravines ofdeep humiliations from which there was no come back.the I in me revolted again out of sheer survival instinct and the fight back began .by this time two little I came to my life born out of wedlock who made me a phoenix and the real I was born again and threw me back to my career and thus become the so called man.so here I stand a respected doctor,a career oriented, money crazy,male chauvinist of the first order.fiercely possessive husband,and fondly called by my wife as stone hearted.my parents dismiss me as that uncaring non involving son better left alone.my employees see the I in me as strict discipinarian,highly critical,but gets things done in an effective way. My superiors are ssorry for my being too submissive .my offsprings regard as one with whom they can fool around me and get what they want.offcourse my god sees a hippocrite in me but yet bestows what ever I wish.the patients who are few and scanty feel iam sincere,frank,irritableand clever enough to drain their pockets.so that is me according to their views.am I the ultimate role player?.have I lost the I in me playing all these roles.yes probably that is the answer to my original?so I have to go a long way to rediscover myself.i have to patiently dissect out each layer of role garb surrounding me and ultimately reach the naked core of my being.will I have the courage to undress myself to that level and later find myself to be totally EMPTY.the thought itself gives me the shivers.ONLY TIME CAN ANSWER.