THE FINAL PROJECT

In retrospect I have come to the conclusion that all my life I have tried  to swim down stream, I mean I have never struggled to achieve my dreams or desires but had rather compromised with all I got on my way, in a passive way and off course I don’t regret any of my actions or reactions. This trying to stay afloat, in a down stream and that too aided by tides and wind, requires least effort, I mean , to keep ‘balance’ and the nature will take care the rest. Off course some times the wind or currents may shift me to the bare banks on either side, but just a little shove or a push may send me back to the middle. The only problems are the rocks when you are on the fast track  or some times you may have to negotiate a bump when you fall through a water fall, or on occasions you may be caught unawares in a whirl pool dragging you down the dark depths. But by the grace of god or Mother  Nature some unseen hands have come to my rescue and brought me again to surface to carry on my journey towards the vast unknown ocean further ahead. I am unsure whether this attitude had  a positive or negative turn to my life ,but it made my life a lot easier, but I could witness mediocre people far far behind me ,flying past me at break neck speed achieving their so called desires ,status ,identity ,power. They may be fast ,but though slow I suppose I have greater endurance and patience and may be after a long period of time[ if at all it happens], may be I will  reach their end in my own lazy way.

      Why I am writing all this nonsense as a preface is , now I have reached a point, from where I will have to swim against the current , I mean up stream ,which is alien to me. Bye the way I have to confess that my life is a sum total of myriads of small small projects[ for example even going to my hospital everyday is a micro project], so now you know me, how much hardship I am enjoying or enduring day by day for the last 50 years ,before that I was yet to learn the art of planning .so rather than say I have lived, I can confidently say I am always in the process of planning my life at every moment for the next moment. I think  I have strayed a lot from the point I envisaged. Now I am on the verge of my final project, one which I will love to undertake from the utter depth of my heart. But unfortunately this task doesn’t suit my innate nature of laziness. To be open , this is going to be a tough struggle and needs pin point planning and may take years and sap my energy to the point of no return. Am I capable of that, of that last crazy jump to unknown? Only TIME can answer and even now I can see TIME IS LAUGHING.