Long time no,see! Its nearly a year since I am forced to type, searching for each letter in this damned computer. No ,nobody asked me to perform again,they know I am beyond that.Now I can see your nasty smile,.i don’t want your pity nor your tolerance but contempt,that I can endure.So nother year wasted in the name of reactive depression to what? Yet another excuse.[when will you stop manufacturing these wild excuses one after another, day after day ,year after year,whom are you cheating,yourself?

The first possible excuse can be the withdrawal of support from my father since he no longer existed, no ! is it too feeble ? .o.k,let me have a better one, the melting of the markets making my reserves weaker by say 50%,.or will you accept the fact of recession gnawing in to my patients.So all considered you will grant me the benefit of a little depression, o.k? No ! I am not bringing the issue of the terrorist attacks,in fact it proved my sadistic preferences,nothing more. I was more bothered about the loss of form of my yester year hero Rahul the Dravidian forcing me to watch him in club matches.See it is no wonder, in 2008 even the Aussies were flogged by any dick and harry [Dharma adi].

The only positive factor that precipitated the so called depression was another attempt at kicking off the habit of smoking and I can proudly claim to be an unsmoker approaching the 150^th day very shortly.Looking back my life has been a series of attempts at loosing these so called conditioned reflexes one after nother.First it was the sura soon followed by drugs ,followed by relapses and daring again to come out alive from the deadly combinanation since 92.But the most torturing was the unsmoking attempt.The loss of cigarettes meant real hunger forcing me to over eat resulting in heavy diabetes and dyslipidemias and now my wife is insisting me to stop all solid feeds and has threatened to stop my quota of coffee once for all.She is implementing the same by progressively reducing the cup size and now it has reached the teaspoon level. So the only habit left is breathing and living,no!,better term is sustenance of life------ for what I ASK ?

IS IT WORTH IT ?