MESSAGE TO APPA

It was the day after my retirement and was immersed in the rituals of the marriage of a relative that my cousin brother Raja had a pleasant surprise for me that the get together of my maternal side has been fixed in May .The news pervaded me like the sweet aroma of the jasmine flowers and transported me 6 yrs back to 2001 when the first get together happened and what an experience ,suffice to say,its a ‘ happening’,and no word can add more to it .
The mere thought of the event was enough to catapult my mind to my guardian angel my mentor my grand dad our’s only Appa , ‘Appa the great’ .That name, the secret key to the tresures of my early childhood has a very unnerving effect on my heart sending slgnals to my lacrymal gland with its secretions fogging my vision and reflexly carrying my legs to the balcony imploring me to gaze at the stars in a vain attempt to locate him.
So I gazed on and on my heart silently calling out to him from the bosom of the never ending sky and lo when it seemed to be years or has the Time stopped? My sensitized ears picked up a slow whisper intensifying to a boom "Konthei! Did you call me".. "Appa ,I can hear you"my heart jumping with joy of endless misery. "I was yearning to hear from you since the last 6 yrs and do you need each get- together to remind you of me" he smiled.. "Noppa,now a days the world is spinning so fast that we don’t have time to think about our own parents or children,then how can you expect me ? sorry I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.To come to the point I wanted to tell you about your family your grand sons ,great grandsons and how they live, how the family you have so carefully and lovingly nurtured have grown,branched and flowered.The Kadamboduvazhvu clan have gone high you know ‘ Appa’ and are reaching the heights you never could have imagined .I am going to summarise their present living in a general sense so that you can boast to your friends over there.
I needn’t remind you of the first generation consisting of three graduates and their spouses finishing up their careers as one bank manager,one special buereou[I am very weak in spelling as you know] I mean C.B.I. officer who couldn’t prevent the infiltration in to Kashmir,one chartered accountant,one gazetted officer in central services and one senior accountant capable of changing money in to black or white or vice versa regarding his clients.,one sincere teacher.
Come the next generation and you have 21graduates,of which 3 are chartered accountants[they are genetically primed so,]5 engineers, four of whom being computer engineers out of whom one has risen to the level of Director in a computer firm about to buy IBM,,3 have gone on to finish MBA ,[one flowed out from the prestigious institute of I I M Lucknow,can you believe it!,one is Bank manager ,one an Engineer in atom bomb making at Kalpakkom,and another one a poor govt .doctor,offcourse as you know he ought to be an eye specialist,one is an upcoming car dealer and two are doing well in private firms,you name it and we have got one in our family.
About the third generation, ‘ Appa’ , the sub branches which are only in the making we have two computer engineers.another one about to finish the same and oddly enough one has turned out to be a speech therapist[have you ever dreamt of such a speciality Appa?]All others are kids working hard to great careers the details of which I shall duly furnish during the third get- together.
We own a fleet of atleast 10 cars of different makes and even have a garage with atleast another 5 cars at our disposal , about 20 bikes ,3 biycles of which one is for exercise only .I cannot give you details of the immovable property worth crores lest the income tax people will start a new ward,and we hold minority stake in most of the front line companies listed in the Nifty[Are you following me Appa?].Our hobbies range from Art of living,krishnapremi,Nechur,pink floyd ,Amma to cricket[which you cursed],FA cup and even Tiger woods.,dealing in shares and futures as a mere game .Are you familiar with the gadgets that we routinely use . The kids are moving aroud with the Ipods around their necks,talking to one another being not through their mouth but by a rectangular metallic piece called the mobile with out which they cannot survive .The world is in their drawing room through their T Vs and the women folk can cry ony through their mega serials . We have forgotten to walk,only ride,and as per the instruction of doctors we walk for walk sake early morning lead by our dogs.We no longer confide with our friends or wives ,but with our dogs,and shrinks.
We are bringing in girls from all around the world irrespective of their caste, creed ,language.Our anthapuram is brimming with lovely educated and highly cultured brides starting from the Himalayan belt to south of Vindhyas We are now multilingual and familiar with different cultures and customs and VASUDEIVA KUDUMBAKOM is our lattest swan song.We have become literally tolerant as taught by you.This strategy has been adopted by the clan on purely scientific basis to enrich our genetic pool which was under threat due to years of inbreeding .
Our children can rest only in five star hotels,travel in A.c coaches,but they prefer flights in general,drink coca colas to begin with and eat only packed foods .Now a days ‘ Appa ‘we believe in one kid family and the kids turn out selfish, unable to share, and see their parents once in a blue moon,.They no longer play with other children and immerse themselves with computer games and cartoons .
That’s how life goes on here.I have only surfed through the barest minimum. ‘Appa’ I can only assure you one thing, our clan will hold on against all odds and still will cherish values, you have taught and try to forge a common front in keeping your goals alight and LOVE will bind us all together and MUKKANI SAMY’S legacy will continue to yet another generation.I am feeling sleepy ‘ Appa’.Can I sleep in your laps a wee bit.?

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON RETIREMENT

I am a middle aged ? male young Caucasian of Indian origin residing in a semi urban city rather a few meters , say few furlongs near to the once famous Neela nadhi at present called Bharatha puzha about 35 kms south of Malampuzha dam in DOGS OWN LAND created by PARASURAMA THE GREAT, when in his atrocious mood , at present under the control of KARL MARX THE GREAT.,and am aged 55 as per my S S L C book, I mean legally and 53.5 yrs as per my jataka [the old man wanted to get rid of me to school earlier,].As for my service details I am a practicing ophthalmologist for the last 28 yrs[I dread to think of the no of eyes lost to humanity in such a short time] and at present an administrator in govt service in the rank of a deputy director of health services[lo the predicament of Keralite’s health].Of course married and single,my eldest son is also married though a computer professional outsourcing dollars from ISRAEL .The younger one is a speech pathologist apprentice and yet to suffer from bondage .To come to the point I am on the verge of RETIREMENT I mean from service, and about to or already suffering from male menopausal syndrome .The BIG question haunting me for the last few months is WHAT NEXT ?
All my prime years was lost in the maddening race for MONEY ,STATUS , MAKING of the FAMILY and for that the monotony of milking patients after patients .But in the end what did I gain? I lost in all these three grounds and more at the family level .What did I lose? “ THE LIFE”,the utter JOY of BEING .
Okay ,let the byegones be immersed in the bharathapuzha.Can I have a second life , a rebirth of some sorts . and start LIVING .
Since I am a virgo let me systematically analyse or ponder .What are the things you like or enjoy doing or by not doing. what are the things which you hate, but at present doing for some one else sake? Do you enjoy your work? What do you mean by the term enjoying life or what is missing in your life that you want to rekindle? Are you bothered about the lost friendships ,relationships or the social obligations you forgot .Did at any point of time you fought any cause how ever trivial it may be?Have you ever been free of FEAR at anytime .In short when was the last time you felt completely INDEPENDENT?Can you think of anytime when you sang from your heart or laughed generously with your friends or wife or children?Any vacations you remember?
If only I can find an answer to these questions can I hope for a new birth so to say.
My mind is crammed up with so many weird thoughts and ideas about a latent rebirth or remodeling that I am going to place it in record rather in a random fashion lest I forget and arrange it in a more sensible way at a later date for practise later on.
Let me begin with what ever I like or relish doing which I had conveniently forgotten for the last 25 yrs out of compulsion or lack of time what ever might be the excuse.

1.I like reading what ever trash I get; fast fiction ,philosophy, spiritual nonsense to science fiction from Agatha Christy to Camus even Vedanta cannot scare me.

2.Listening to music not bothered about lyrics.

3.Enjoy spiritual discourses, debates on current affaires,quizzing.

4.watching all channels in cable except cartoon mostly sports,news,market movements and movements in fashion channels.love moovies

5.Enjoy learning.this topic needs more analysis!

6.I love serious and petty talks with persons with same frequency.

7.playing light games like table tennis.

8.Visiting places,not for sight seeing ,but for a feel of different people and places ,mostly to be away from present set up.Also the journey in a train excites me a lot but for the ban in smoking[ which I LOATHE] but it cannot get rid of me

9.wish to spend long time in beeches silently drinking in the feel of the majesty of the never ending expanse of moving water masses especially if the sun is close by to it lending its array of colours ,also gazing at the stars and clouds in my balcony with nobody around.

10.Spending time with a selected group of relatives who care for me.

11.To be awake at night and sleep lightly in the day.

12.Enjoy silly talk with my sons and bahurani.

13.love to fight with my wife just to enjoy the reunion which is short lived but yet worth the effort.

14.love to write trash , a late discovery ,with disastrous results.

15.love to find real friends or worthy foes ,both eluding me from time immemorial .

16.To find the real ME .Needs more introspection and may end up as a full time job.A little scary even to start thinking about me –chances of endind up
as a loony or enjoying the everlasting BLISS ,OR IS BOTH THE SAME?

17.Luv to form a friendship with my wife-a mirage?.should give it a try-a long term investment-so says KARVY consuts in CNBC.

18.love to be a teacher - a life long dream but is a possibility.

19.To do something worth while for the society –a project I can do in the tribal area of AGALY-A friend has already approached me with an offer which is under active consideration.

20.To enter in to the field of counseling.It will cater to my interest in learning and a career option to disengage from ophthalmic practice for a change

Things which I loathe but cannot refrain from

1.Procrastination-a long time conditioned reflex which effectively blocks all the 20 points noted above.am an ardent master of the same.

2.To make money .but always enjoy counting currencies and just the feel of it sends my heart soaring –have to avoid the bourses and watching NDTV PROFIT channel-but for that I will have to call my Asianet operator to disconnect.-a vain proposition

3.To put an end to being too critical of my loved ones.they loathe my sarcasm.-a genetic error if corrected may lead to an identity crisis-not practical in this age or janma to be point blank

4.All arranged marriages except mine off course.BEING and NOT BEING is intolerable to both of us to be precise-which I consider as the ultimate in a civilized society.

5.crying children and sulking sons,working under ignorant fools

6.poetry , hypochondriacs ,people who snore while I am talking seriously.

7.policemen,politicians,insurance agents,advocates,media

8.cleanliness

9. dancing,Sachin Tendulkar fans,Dhal makers


to be continued

THE DEAL

Yes ,the deal was on.It has come to this stage after protracted meetings after meetings directly and through third persons.The initial proposal came through a well wisher, though a neighbour and both the families as per the tradition landed in the doorsteps of the family astrologer who gave the green signal after going through both the horoscopes judging “7.5 porutham”.The bride’s father felt as if he had cleared the entrance exam .But the mother was’nt that happy . She had repeatedly objected to the proposal “see ,they don’t have any assets, more over the boy has two younger sisters yet to be married and I am not going to throw my daughter in to that whirl pool”.But there was nobody to attend to her wisdom .They were concerned that the girl would be left stranded since nearly three proposals had already been rejected citing the colour of the heroine .They convinced the mother that at least the boy was a medical graduate with no bad habits,he even now performed sandhyavandana and never even glanced at girls .
Now it was the time for the next stage ,the tough financial negotiations and the girls side began with the lowest tender of 10000 bucks and 25 sovereigns offcourse exclusive of perks like furniture ,all household utensils and silver and brass items.After one week both parties clinched the deal at 25000 bucks and 50 soverigns including the bride.The talk of the town was that the tender was on the higher side like the TATA-CORUS deal .But all this had to overcome the last and final hurdle ie the meeting of the boy with the girl popularly termed “ponnu parkal ceremony.

Mean while all the the hell broke loose in the hero’s place when he was informed of the above proposal ‘.No no no why didn’t you ask me in the first place.I am only interested in a doctor as my second half .”It took almost two days to convince him that what he needed was not a lover but a wife who can look after him and also the whole family and the essentials needed was a low qualification ,a good knowledge in cooking and other family rituals,absolute obedience and respect for the elders ,a tinge of fear mixed respect for the mother in law and a lot of patience for dealing with the boy’s sisters and brothers.In,short a good house manager “.Don’t look in to the short term but it’s a long term , no , permanent investment,more over this alliance will lift our family to the next level and finding boys for your sisters will be a lot more easier” “
. “But what about me.It’s I who have to tolerate for entire life and I am yet tosee girl,leave alone know about her “Don’t talk rubbish,do you think you will know about her in two years? No way my son ,we have married for twenty years and still am in the dark about her”.“But I have never seen you hug nor a day has passed not hearing your screaming and showering abuses at her and it’s I who have to shower water over her face to revive her from her repeated swooning .” “But that has not prevented her from raising you all five besides taking care of me.That is life my son and not your day dreaming image as in movies.Its all about tolerating ,persevering and compromising from a position of strength ,not the other way round as in a love marriage;. All this won’t convince you a bit .But first have a look at her and if you don’t like her we will see then”.
The D-day was fixed,consulting the panchangom and venue at a relatives place .That night he tossed in his bed thinking of the one love which he had killed due to sheer cowardice and the price he had to pay and pay he will.
The sun took a long time delivering light and life.Around tea time after rahu kalam was over he prayed to all the deities who took pity on him and said best of luck.Surrounded by his relatives he was led to the venue.He felt a sudden tinge of curiosity as to his prey and shyly entered the house greeted by the girl’s side.When everybody had taken seat in the pavilionand customary compliments paid some body from the crowd booed “let the girl bring the coffee”.He began to sweat and looked at the floor as if she was about to surface from the floor “.Hey here she is ,look up and to the right and this will be the first and last time you can look directly to her face”every body except the two victims laughed and cheered.
It took him years to glance up to the shy thin built tall girl who flowed in to the room neatly dressed in a red saree with little make up,but her small face glowed in the fading evening and the vitality of youth percolated his senses.He drank the coffee steadily not risking a second glance at her . “If you want to have a talk with her go ahead,we are very forward” her father whispered
He went upstairs and soon she followed accompanied by two lady commandos who took position on the door which was partially open .All the courage in him fledand he knew not what to utter and drank her with his eyes.He summoned all his courage and words stammered out of his mouth “what are you studying?”
He could detect a pityful smile flowering out from her small mouth
“I have just completed my degree”.What subject he queried “Mathematics”. Her voice was soft with a tinge of hoarseness and tickled him.He felt more at ease and began the interview in all its seriousness,noting her arrogant smile. “What are your interests”I like classical music and small talk,she answered taking her own sweet time.He suppressed the instant cough and went on “Do you like cricket”. “You mean the game with three sticks and a ball.yes”
He was floored.Not willing to give up he ventured “Do u like reading books” “off course I love reading Kumudom and kalki”.He cursed his fatherand kept on a la Dravid “Do u love mukesh songs”.Her laugher was genuine and spontaneous “But Mukesh only acts in films,does he sing also?The deal was clinched instantaneously.No more questions he laughed . “If u want to ask any thing shoot”He faced his prey.She said “one only.Do u like me?”. “ Off course”.
Cheers went all around signaled from the escorts.They were married shortly and are living the Heavens own tryst with destiny.