THE OUTSIDER

The angry sunlight woke him up after a listless tired sleep which was quite unusual for Chami especially when he had the smoothening company of a young lady’s body inside the mortuary under lock and key .He sniffed the early mornings air and felt the hang over easing .The hospital was slowly coming back to life and the early bells for the days milk from the kitchen brought forth a flurry of patients and bystanders alike forming the first queue of the day. He strolled over to the make shift hotel shed after shaking back to life .the hospital security and had his morning strong free tea which made him feel that all was well in this world of his .The night duty doctor and the night staff were eagerly returning home after the change of baton .Chami smiled at them wondering why they looked so tired even though the night duty as usual was light with 3 admissions 4 casualities, 2 deliveries and 1 death, since it was a 150 bedded hospital though the census showed only 72 patients . He lighted the Kaja beedi and felt the first surge of nicotine clearing his brain and surveyed the already bright cloudless sky and uttered “damn”.Why had he forgot about the Body in his unofficial custody, brought by P.C 125 from Sreekrishnapuram police station yesterday night and left as usual handing him a bottle of Nadan. Chami even remembered two howls from the mortuary in the dead of night which he ignored .conveniently .
Chami was a pure breed Indian ,even you can classify him under the label ADIDRAVIDAN .He looked tall for his 5 ft, lean , pitch black or bright black sturdy body and yellowish teeth gleaming in a smallpox scarred face beautifullised by a 2 inch round swelling in the right cheek, an outward squint of left eye and astonishingly black unruly hair . But nobody knew his age which according to the oldest staff ranged anywhere between 60 to 80. When somebody had the guts to ask him he laughed aside and declared I was born with the hospital .He had no parents to claim nor any relatives to bother, literally a ‘son of the soil’ . but he had a home that was the postmortem shed through which he learned the harsh realities of life and death and hence his life was a celebration unadulterated by money which was a piece of paper and he never needed any since the mortuary provided him all his needs without the paper roll.He was no hospital staff appointed by the P.S.C or even the employment exchange.Yes he was a voluntary staff with no pension benefits or casual leaves or fringe benefits neither PAY, leave alone under table dealings ..He worked since he liked the work and he was master of himself and even the Superintendent respected him for his blank sincerity to job on hand .In fact he was an institution unto himself .
He had mastered the art of undertaker from an old orderlie who had taken an undue interest on the young lad and spotting his talent in the art of managing the un-naturally dead yet human bodies, gradually tutored him to the finesse of the game including the stitching part which he was not supposed to do under article203 of the constitution since he was not a paid servant so to say.But he excelled and enjoyed getting back to shape the dis membered clients either iatrogenic or that due to accident . More over his master taught him that the’ dead should be given more respect and care than the living’ ,which though didn’t make any sense to him when the guru said,but over years that became his moola mantra once he knew about the’ alive dead’ .Thus the boy thrown to the dust bin by the society became one of the rarest but truly needed gem of the same old society and never looked back and his mentor at the time of retirement blessed him”You are in a noble profession and never shirk duty to the DEAD since they need you “.
What upset Chami was the way this society treated him in return for the thankless job , Atleast once in 4 or 5 months he had to face the ultimate challenge ,I mean ,the 5 day and above degenerated bodies covered with layers and layers of white maggots totally engulfing the body [In a sense, the time of death was ascertained in forensic medicine by the age and growth of these maggots ], obliterating the identity even the gender of the body, leave alone the cause of death. Once such a body was brought in nobody kith or kin , the doctor or the orderlies dared to come to the mortuary and Chamy will be the ultimate coroner rincing the body with kerosene and petrol to get rid of the worms and most often a futile work. After some how finishing the work which the eagles wont dare, he used to announce the probable cause of death to the duty doctor who stood miles away . At other times the police brought the body in different multiple containers each one supposed to contain either a severed head or badly mashed up limbs usually after a train had the grace to pass over a poor man sleeping or crossing intentionally or accidentally on a railway track and Chami had to work overtime to bring him back to a semblance of a human being.All these he did without any complaints though,occasionally he cursed the Gods on the clients behalf .But what did the society did in its turn? . It never gave him the PADMA awards which he truly deserved,not even a decent citizens rights were given to him . To this day he had no ration card,no identity card nor was he in the electoral rolls of this great country .In return he was looked up on as an out caste and even the canteen people had a separate glass for him and the little children beat a hasty retreat on his sight . Some people jested that he emitted the smell of death when passed by .Chami never bothered about or was resigned to this public response .But what upset him most was when a doctor ordered a coffee to him and noting the urgency in his voice Chami ran to the canteen and after much heckling got a really hot coffee for the respected doctor and hurriedly brought it personally and was astonished and crest fallen to note the coffee being emptied on the wash basin and heard the great man ordering for nother cup through nother orderlie .This did not happen decades back nor some where in a remote village in Bihar but in 2004 in the land of Parasurama famous for the Punnapra wayalar struggle and the famous Vaikkom struggle of the great Mahatma against untouchability .In short he was given the staus half way between the LIVING AND THE DEAD.
He smelled trouble this morning since his left upper lid has started twitching and wanted to convey the same to the superintendent whose morning arrival was signalled by the scootie’s indicator music,but the man’s glowing smile, eventhough everybody knew was contrived,couldn’t resist it . H e went to order the first of many teas to follow .The mortuary by this time had its first few relatives to cater, waiting eagerly for the P.C who was yet to arrive for the initiation of the ordeals of postmortem . Chami concealed his smile since he knew that atleast sun has to go up for nother 2 hrs before the P.C to arrive and another hour or more before the duty doctor will appear that too only if some political dwarfs intervened .He casually walked over to the eagerly awaiting crowd ,sized them up twice before he could spot the prey in the crowd and asked him to follow to the shades of the banyan tree , witness to so many similar scenes being enacted everyday and it sighed in dejection.
Chami was a skilled counsellor in these matters and unlike those greedy govt. servants enlightened the poor man as to how to proceed in such complicated procedures and gave a brief in a simple language which only the poor could grasp without embarrassing him. He took out his diary from his knickers lifting his lungis and presented him with a long roll of ribbon like paper in which was listed out 23 essential items written neatly with a pencil [ofcourse Chami had n’t the time to learn the nuances of the written language,but at any time carried around five copies written out courtsy the security staff],the most prominent among them were 1. 3 glass bottles with .5 kg salt in one 2. 1 packet of agarbathy preferably the CYCLE brand .3 . 1 LUX soap. 4. twine thread 1 roll .5. 3 full scape blank paper and 2 carbon papers[for the rough notes of P.M. to be noted by the doctor .6 .one ball point pen . 7. 2 mundus 8. 1 long needle 9. 3 disposable gloves 10. 1 packet of candle sticks 11. 3 full bottles of country arrack 12. 1 packet of blades preferably 7 0 clock 13. 1 litre of kerosene[for extremely degenerated bodies, not a must] and so on the list goes to the extent of 2 large plastic buckets of water when there is water shortage in the hospital . In fact Chamy never accepted money even if offered but preferred the country liquor and a parcel of chicken biriyani .Once the details regarding the George kutties for the khaki uniformed and the white uniformed orderlies were worked out not forgetting the higher ups in the profession Chami felt tired and went for the well earned rest since he had to be FIT after the doctor finishes his work .
Today true to his intuition everything went wrong. As soon as the mortuary door was opened by the P.C to show the body to a late arrived relative the kith and kin, they were astonished to see acres of skin missing from the left leg and the right side of the forehead with part of one eye missing in action .The crowd charged to the supdt’s office baying for his life and soon cornered the man . The Supdt unable to escape, heard their story and pretending utter coolness asked the councilor who was in front” “But the body is there,no?.2 month’s back we had a case where in a dog was spotted running with the right lower limb in it’s mouth and it took Chami nearly 1 hr to retrieve the same .Thank God,this is only a trivial matter and I will ask Chami to do the needful and your body will be handed over back more charming than ever .Any way I will go in to the matter and the culprit whether it’s a dog ,cat ,or rat will be punished. I had infact constituted a three member commission after the last tragedy yes !three sitting ,standing or about to die Judges with beautiful secretaries but pending their report 4 secretaries of state have been deputed to a two week tour of Europian nations to report on the security measures to be taken to prevent a future attack by a man eater “..Thus pacified the crowd retreated back
Chami hung his head in shame and two tears sank back in to his eyes .Yes he had heard the two howls in the dead of night and had done nothing to save his victim He felt miserable and wanted to resign even though he was not eligible for the same since he was not a govt employee. Not even a minister . And duty beckoned him and soon after the duty doctor had left after postmortem he spend an agonizing extra one hour resetting the body like a plastic surgeon and with deft hands which was an envy of the present general surgeon managed to hide the deformity to a large extent . and handed over the body to a visibly relieved crowd .The job at hand being over he returned to the shades of the banyan tree and emptied the whole full bottle in a single gulp and threw away the biriyani parcel in utter disgust .He was soon lost in sleep in which the angels of death danced to his delight ..

THE QUAGMIRE REVISITED

Sorry oh!readers of kannan writes! for having suddenly intruded in to your favourite blog spot . Offcourse I have every right since I am an avid fan of Kannans great writings and when some fool of an idiot I mean, a mean pseudo intellectual of low caliber has the guts to question or infact discover blemishes or contradictions in his great philosophies ,how can I remain quiet.If only I had an A.k 41 I would have shred him to pieces .I had contacted HIM regarding this great controversy which all the media had made a great fuss and do you know what the great man had to say about that raving critic “ I had read that piece and in fact he has raised some pertinent queries, considering his age .I think that young boy has lots of potential in him and mark my words, he is a sure long term bet and keep an eye on him . As for his queries I need not clarify ,he will get the answer after another 30 years”. That is what you call sheer genius . But I cannot sleep until I give a befitting reply to that silly lad .First I will enlighten you on the enormity of the accusations that he had leveled against my idol about that controversial at the same time one of his everlasting blog titled the Quagmire. Here is a gist of his blasphemies targeted at the master .

First of all, why would the Lady try to save him from the quagmire? Is the quagmire a metaphor for Love or for the misery that comes along because of Forbidden Love. If it is the misery, then the first question is answered assuming the Lady takes pity on him ( after bringing him close to ruin). Then, Why would the kith and kin be astonished? Is it because, he tried to redeem himself and they thought that he did not deserve it? If yes, why would he jump back in? Is it because he dint want their pity?
Is society so unforgiving that , a man will be persecuted all his life, for his one mistake? Is that why he decides to jump back in?

Answer the metaphor question first..But whichever ways u answer it,, you are cornered..

Quagmire is not a good enough pun…Though its literal meaning is a soft muddy surface…Its actual meaning is a Predicament or a difficult situation. But in the end of the story, the hero of the story prefers to jump back into the difficult situation. That can never be the case. A person may choose misery over joy, sorrow over happiness, but never confusion over solid ground. Kindly explain
After reading the above mentioned blog for the n th time, each time revealing new insights to me, let me refute him charge by charge with the limited knowledge I have gained through his writings. The great man may not approve ,he may even admonish me for trying to defend him,but yet I have to try,and with his blessings so to say let me embark on this journey .
As for the author is concerned a quagmire is a quagmire and nOthing other than that.He never wrote a” shifting sand” or a ‘ cesspool ‘ .He was more bothered about the heros predicament when he succumbed to the second LOVE and the response of the society to that forbidden love, might have first made him slip in to an actual quagmire so to say and an instant survival instinct to escape might have made him cry for help and when the response from the kith and and kin was not very favourable he might have settled for a resigned death ..Here the heroine is introduced to save him but she is not willing to take him along with her afraid of the wrath of the so called society . So when the whole world at large deserts him including his lover he has no other option left than committing suicide,hence the deliberate attempt. But now the quagmire comes to life and becomes the central actor in the play and being the only character which feels pity and love for the hero accepts him to its bosom and dissolves him in its LOVE .
Another way of seeing it ,may be that the author had depicted the mire as a self imposed isolation in which the hero finds himself in soon after his succumbing to LOVE and when he tries to come back to society at large and after the futile attempt returns back to isolation which now he starts enjoying . The third postulate might be like the hero basking in the mud like a pig to the amusement of the crowd and enjoying the agony of the death of love .
In fact after much research in to this topic when I asked the great man directly as to what he meant he laughed aloud after my postulates and confessed to me that he never meant anything and that he had written that blog in the late hours of the night that too after liberal dose of virgin mary and had never bothered about the quagmire until late when he wanted to finish off the blog quickly and within three minutes had finished off the story using the first thing that came to his mind THE MIRE spontaneously .But to this day I know he was joking to me and his conception of the mire was totally beyond our human comprehension and better left to the FANTASY of the reader who is always a fool looking too much in NOTHINGNESS . Here I rest my case Your Honour.

THE QUAGMIRE

How could he ever forget that day of days or rather that night, to be precise.Here he was lying on that Kurlon bed quite unarmed except for the blanket, innocent as a baby in sleep dreaming about the angels, when the silent but deadly attack was launched precisely at 12 midnight .They came in camouflages, night vision googles armed with all the latest armaments laser tipped. They seemed to appear from all directions simultaneously and ruthlessly and professionally engaged in that meticulously planned savage yet silken cunning attack , the hallmark of a woman betrayed.The commandos moved with the pin point precision and stealth born of years of practice.Instantaneously they forced their way in through all his body pores and hastened their way and struck with military precision first at the telecommunication centres at the frontal lobe with Brahmos and another group silenced the vital radars of the visual and auditory cortex of the brain with silos and lasers,the third brigade paralysed the locomotor systems with the Prithvies.Once these pivotals were secured the main army marched on capturing the bridge heads of the synapses and now relaxed; via the circulatory systems they took over all the vital organs. The now victorious assassins danced their way to the heart, the seat of parliament and the white flag on which the emblem of the torn heart with an an arrow in the center was hoisted . The BUDDHY and MANAS was safe and secure in the hands of the new Queen who ordered “ surrender”. The whole operation lasted less than 30 minutes and he was forced to surrender unconditionally without firing a single shot in retaliation .
He woke up totally unaware of the attack itself . The sun lighted up a new hither to unknown yet beautiful and mystic wonder world before him .Every thing took up on a new hue and he felt a strange bliss ,he knew not why . The roses looked like roses and the bark of the dog were music to his ears .For the first time the coffee tasted really good and the morning bath was invigorating. Even the Krishna seemed to smile at his foolhardiness .He went to his office with gay abandon and even bestowed his favourite smile to all his colleagues to their utter surprise .The red taped files welcomed him and he duly signed all files without any queries, that his clerks could not comprehend . Every thing seemed fit and fare and he was in a different zone altogether .
As the sun began its downward loop his mood also started waning .An untold melancholy descended over him and his heart grew heavy as if some one was departing and a strange sweet loneliness began over powering him and his gaze took a vacant tone .The bitter agony , he tried to shake off with a few pegs of gin never loostened its grip . Only Mukesh could ease his pain with his” “ chal re sajni ab kya hote “,later “dil jalta hai tho jalne do”took him to the depths of unchartered grief and Saigals “so ja rajakumari so ja “ made him weep for no reason altogether .
What has happened to him . what was it that blinded and deafened him leave alone the utter coolness and stony heartedness which has deserted him and left him naked to the ridicule of the society and isolated him to the bones . Who was ruling him and who was ruining him. Was he at fault or was it the society at large .?Was he going mad or is it that others are branding him for a perfectly normal human emotion that anybody can acquire at any time . He turned and twisted in his bed till the wee hours and sleep took its turn .
.He began running frantically away and away from the humanity baying for his life .He felt weary but couldn’t stop his flight to doom .He stopped suddenly in anguish and cried aloud to the world “I AM IN LOVE AND IS THAT A CRIME ?
Suddenly he fell in to a quagmire and slowly inch by inch he was drowning . He panicked and began to go down faster .He yelled to his sons to save him,but they kept mum bowing their heads in shame. He looked up to his wife in despire .,but in vain .His panic ceased and he felt a n easing peace and he resigned to his fate calmly .
As the mud reached his mouth he took a last look at the sky and lo he could see a chopper coming down in a fast scoop and the LADY in it was having the last laugh and a rope whirled its way downwards at him from her golden hands.and he clutched it at the last moment ,the chopper easing him upwards .He felt liberated and with a thud he was violently pulled out of the quagmire and he fell on firmer ground weary and thankful .As he raised his gaze around he looked at the astonishment of his kith and kin staring at him .
He never hesitated a bit and dived back in to the mud which embraced him and drew him in to its bosom full of LOVE .

THE COLOSSUS

For the last 6 months I have been constantly harassed by one topic which I always cherished but had not the courage to take up and have been postponing or rather eluding to pen since no pen could ever reflect the personality of the MAN who dwells within me and also left an ever lasting imprint on everybody who had come his way .No words could ever capture his spirit ;hence the enormity of the job at hand frightens me, lest I fail. Of what use the English I have learnt if I cannot introduce this giant to my sons and the generations to follow. But will I be able to do it, atleast bring out 10% of his true nature? No I have my self doubts ,but with his blessings what can I not achieve,hence this already doomed attempt .
One evening I don’t exactly recollect when ,when Meena chithy visited me and in the course of a very lively chit chat she suddenly asked me " Do you remember APPA "?. That one epithet shot like a thunderbolt and I was taken aback .Chithy as usual went on speaking I knew not what .I left my seat and went to the terrace and stared at the beautiful evening sky, my eyes dotted with a droplet of what you call" tear" which I had forgotten long ago . My chest heaved up and down, the beginning of a long forgotten art of weeping . Through my foggy eyes I could see the haze of a retreating sun and the birds returning home .Like them I retreated to my HOME 50 years back leaping to my unforgettable childhood at Kollam where the great MAN aboded .
He was my maternal grand father all right, as for as the relationship that the society accepts . But for all of us he was our beloved APPA the one and only APPA that I can accept . and boast of .
In fact he was very tall ,very very tall for a child of around 4 or 5 , broad shouldered rather a dull reddish in hue ,upright and presented a clean picture of what you may term as "stability" in its core , for his sixtyish image with a personality the trade mark of which was a silken glistening elegant baldness which was any mans envy sitting atop a face glorified by his long nose and deep looking eyes and broad forehead. But for a child his sixth finger alongside the thumb was an added attraction .His favourite place was his easy chair which almost blended with his back .Don’t be under the mistaken notion that he was a retired I.A.S. officer or a professional or a teacher for that matter not even a shrewd businessman but a simple cloth trader who knew not the tricks of the trade rather he was not too bothered about it .May be he had more of an agriculture back ground and knew enough to read and write and had no university degree to boast of .-Cutting it short he was a SIMPLE UNADULTERATED MAN and he knew only one thing , nothing much to cheer about,rather it is now a days, seen as a vice or weakness, the one and only dying art in the world The ART OF LOVING .He was a master at it and gave enough and more till we drowned in it ,infact he would have scolded me for using that word" drown" since he loathed all forms of mental injury to another human being whether in words or deeds .He was the Great BANYAN Tree under which we flowered .
As a child I used to eagerly watch his daily schedule and what attracted me greatly was his morning shave ,the way he used to puff his lips to shave the whitish shooting moustache and I wanted to grow immediately to manhood so I can perform this great art . Then after the bath he used to adorn his face with sandal mix in his broad forehead in the form of an U with a thin sleek piece of wood peering closely in the mirror correcting the shape to order in a time which lasted eternity ,but was worth watching anyway .During breakfast I was given the pride of place along side him and the soft iddlies which Kuppuchi mami manufactures with the coconut chutney which he usually smears over the idly liberally and then deliberately squeezing deep in to the belly of the idly before eating it , is enough to set my salivary glands in full throttle .Even now once in a while when nobody is watching I try to emulate him .Then he sets off to his clothes shop which smells sweetly to me of the new calico clothes ,in his totally white mundu and shirt with a long sleek robe around his neck reeking in the nobility in him and off he goes in Raghavans cycle rickshaw . In the night when he returns I am eagerly waiting for him like a dog to hear his commanding voice "Konthe! Thoongiyacha? Which lullabies me to sleep,sometimes he fetches me appams from some temple .
I am totally at ease in his laps,so to say in bliss in half sleep twiddling with his extra thumb in his left arm or is it his right arm ? He never adviced me nor tells me the mythological stories {it was meena chithies turn to soar me to magical heights with her stories and the Montecristos ,the Draculas ,the Three musketeers [ATHOS ,POTHOS ,ARAMIS,DEARTEGNANS],}.When ever he was in great mood he used to sing me the Thandavakkone song .He pampered me like hell much to the discomfort of Mani mama and we were bitter enemies trying to get his attention .Life was worth living those days in the company and pettings of Janakichithy,Meena chithy ,Rajumama and Manimaama though he often pinched my ears when A ppa was far away . Yes I will give a fortune if I can relive those haunting eras .,with "Krisshna ,Mukunda murare " playing in the background from the Rathna theater in the evenings before start of the first show .
I have never seen him really angry and he taught me that life was all about GIVING and not taking ,to ENDURE at times ,to RESIGN at some other times ,to CELEBRATE most of the times but never to RESIST it . He never told me so, since sermonizing was anathema to him and he never passed judgement nor criticized anybody . HE taught us to love all and be loved .,to believe in all and to give shelter when ever they needed and showed us Money was a means and not an end in itself . HE was LOVE INCARNATE AND WILL ALL WAYS BE IN OUR HEARTS IF EVER THERE IS ANY TINGE OF LOVE LEFT IN US.
I know I have failed in my attempt to capture his personality to my readers,but yet I have tried my level best and atleast I can boast of a great grand dad I was privileged to have.Yes if if he was alive today he would have allowed me to curl on his laps and weep, weep till eternity .