FREEDOM AT MIDNIGHT

When consciousness dawned on him he found himself deep under water.Water everywhere,below ,above,inside,outside.But strangely he felt safe and secure.He was not drowning since he never felt any suffocation.Soon the naked truth broke loose on him.He could not feel at all.Yes he was now sure “HE COULD NOT FEEL AT ALL”.Neither could he see,nor hear nor speak,nor taste.,nor could he move.There was no darkess or brightness,no sun nor moon,then the myth of time cannot be accepted .If.time did not exist then he was IMMORTAL.No more the pangs of youth or old.Neither was he a HE or SHE or a IT .The water around soon embraced HIM? and lullabied him .The water meant everything to him and it was his WORLD .Suddenly the realisaton lighted out .He couldn’t think even , since MIND was yet to be born. Then all the previous realizations and thoughts sprung up not from within but from the mother WATER .He was free from thoughts,hence no desires,no frustrations,no past or future.He was absolutely free , free even from himself, since nolonger had he a MIND and hence no EGO which will ultimately bind him to himself , always making him a permanent slave of himself .So being totally free he became pure consciousness itself.Nothing existed nor will exist unless willed, .that was the secret of existence .He lay blissfully unaware of the dangers of existence for the time being even though it didn’t exist for him.It was utter consciousness at its peak.
Suddenly the soothening waters around him became restless and waves broke out on the surface .He began to move and the force of mother water steadily built up in to a tempo forcing him to move sideways .The tsunami stuck in such a force that he first felt PAIN AND PRESSURE building all around him and the early sense of strangulation seized him forming the primordial mind and the ego began to bubble forth within him and the survival instinct sparked like a lightening. The unrelenting wave with a force of 8 richter scale whipped him and he flew like an insect thrashing his head in to the rocks .Suddenly he was sucked in to a tunnel too small for his head.With a pulsating pulverizing head ache the avalance took him forward squeezing his shoulders and his hips his body dragged out with a violent force. The death pangs he felt for the first time since eternity lasted ages before two long fingers scooped around his neck and pulled him violently out of the tunnel.Gasping for breath he suddenly entered nother world which he greeted with an eerie cry that reverberated through all the forteen worlds.
“ It’s a lovely boy” uttered the ayah joyfully.At thestroke of seven in the evening when SANI was in peak on the 23rd day of August in the Gregorian calender year of 1953 was born a timid virgo male consciousness ,brought in to existence to save the humanity from the throes of KALI YUGA.As per the family custom they named him Harihara subramanyan alias Kannan .

OLD IS GOLD

The incessant cough of the old man woke everyone in the three bedroom luxury apartment in a multistoried complex in bangalore.It was already past midnightThe daughter in law cursed her husband” I have had enough of this .If one cannot sleep peacefully in my own house that too day after day!that damn cough even torments me in my dreams.Go and take care of your dearest father ,she sneered.The son replied half asleep.’I had hinted to him to visit my brother,but he is playing dumb.The cough picked up a higher pitch combined with a melodious wheeze.
The old man struggled up from his bed and gulping a mouthful of water he reached for his steroid inhaler and took a long sniff.He felt better and muttered “easwara”.He strolled to the balcony. A welcome breeze calmed him and he stared vaccantly at the star filled sky.Soon he heard footsteps behind him. He turned awkwardly and his hunch became more prominent.A warm smile lit his weathered face as he recognized his youthful energetic grand son who was his prized pet.”Are you better” thatha”.he asked patting him on his emaciated shoulder’”.Go and sleep my child’.he chided his pet.He felt a lot lot better’.Konthe”he mellowed”,get me a drink’ he pleaded.The young man who was a first year medico disappeared and soon returned with a glass of brandy and offered it to his favourite thatha “no more of this,you have already drained half of the bottle I had stolen from my pappas bar”.The old man took a sip and a wicked smile poked out of his toothless mouth”you are so sweet my boy.”.His shineless eyes gazed at the fullmoon clouded by his cataract”.The moon is so lovely.Can you see your” patty ‘ smiling at you from that star over there”.His eyes were now wet.The young man could smell the loneliness of his thatha and whispered”Can old age be so cruel thatha “The old man laughed “it’s a CURSE my child.It is deadlier than DEATH.,more painful than any cancer and more degrading than beggery.I mean it is just existing for sheer existence itself .Every day I pray to god to end my misery and when he beckones me to him I am scared and plead for one more day of hell here I DON’T KNOW WHY.I am afraid to lose myself.The SELF always fights to live under any condition. That is the universal law.”He embraced his grandson and wept.
The young one sat him on the floor and fetched him another drink.The old man gulped and the warmth brought a little cheer in him.He queried” tell me you future doctor! when does one get old”50s or 60s 70s or80s?” The young fellow was cornered and didn’t bother to answer .”konthe” , old age first creeps in when you feel you have nothing more to achieve in life.,when you pause and then start going back to the past listing your glories and failures,when you gaze secretly in the shaving mirror for those early grey hairs and receding hairline and recounting to your friends about the no of tablets you are swallowing for your hypertension and diabetes not to forget about cholesterol,when you start the morning walks with your dog dragging you by the chain,when the teenage girls pluck your cheek with impunity and say how are you uncle , when your wife asks you to get the milk from the booth and your son reads the newspaper first and when the neighbour enquires whether the maid servant has arrived that day.Old age is also heralded when you start going to the temple without any specific memoranda to the almighty.Then you start calculating the interests on your bank accounts.old age has already taken roots when you nolonger look at the mirror and feel aches and pains and visit the doctor for a health check up and an echo and when your son nonchalantly places his legs in the tea poy in front of you and dismisses you with a silent glance.oldage is already flowering when you creep nearer to the T.V to both see and hear what is going on.It is complete when you feel you have lot to say and hear from your wife on equal terms.Then the loneliness creeps all over you and you feel an outsider in your own home.The sons start questions regarding partition and wants to uproot you from your own home.Body doesn’t respects your commands and your mind withdraws in to oneself and you start napping in the day time and sleepless in the night.You start taking note of how every dick and harry neglects you and getting annoyed at one and all for not taking care of you .You start shrinking in form and age and your childish behaviour tests the patience of those surrounding you .You become totally dependent and crave attention.
The grandson felt bored by this verbal diarroea and trying to divert his attention asked thatha can old age be conquered .Pat came the reply”no , not at all.It can at the best be kept at bay or endured with mature logic .WORK and work, in the sense,keeping yourself busy and self dependence is the only answer.Helping others in the same boat can also help a lot .Spending time with children and enjoying your hobbies and not intruding in to the privacy of others and a make belief garb of cheerfulness and less talk may also work wonders with your near ones
“Thatha inspite of your best efforts I overheard my mom and daddy discussing how to get rid of you from here,what are you going to do?” .” This I am over hearing for the past one month and wondering what to do..Have you any suggestions” asked the oldman .When his grandson remained silent the old man felt sorry and embraced him with all his compassion.A shudder ran through his body.A last shower of energy pulsed through his thin body.A fierce force unravelled .After a loud cough which pierced through the silent night,he darted like an arrow, leaving his grandchild dumbfounded,through the open balcony to its edge “.THATHA” cried the youth closing his eyes in anguish.Then it was silence allover “.Konthe” the feeble sound echoed and the young man slowly opened his eyes.There stood the oldman with a sheepish smile “one more last peg “ he begged “before the ultimate JUMP”HE PLEADED .His favourite grandson screamed and embraced him and threw him out of the balcony to the night below , yelling, DAMN THIS INCORRIGIBLE OLD AGE.